


Lines of Lives Lost

by Nixie_DeAngel



Category: Castle
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2013-11-12
Packaged: 2018-01-01 08:09:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1042427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nixie_DeAngel/pseuds/Nixie_DeAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Through out the different universes, these are just but a few of the lives they could have had....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lines of Lives Lost

Kevin shook his head as he listened to Javier go off about his _tie_. Yet again. Smiling over at his partner, Ryan shook his head before taking a sip of his coffee.

~.~.~.~

Ryan really needed some _liquor_ courage. Downing the shot before slamming it back onto the bar top, Ryan turned to Lanie. "I can't do this," he whispered harshly before letting the fear spread through out his body. "I can't do this." He listened to her snort before he felt her pat his arm. "Sweetie," she started warmly. "Get that cute Irish ass of yours up and go over there and lay it on Javier before I smack you silly!"

~.~.~.~

Kevin glared as he watched Javier _flirt_ with yet another woman. He knew his partner was a flirt but this was starting to get freakin' ridiculous!

~.~.~.~

Kevin wasn't sure how his sister's would take the news that their baby brother was dating his partner. But he was certain that he would needed to at least _pacify_ their tempers when they realized just how serious he and Javi were.

~.~.~.~

Javier was honest to God _baffled_ about what had just happened. Surely that had to have just been in his head. Ryan seriously hadn't shoved him into the wall and just given him the kiss of his life. Did he?

~.~.~.~

Kevin sighed happily as he listened to the soft _snores_ that filled their bedroom. It was odd on the silent nights when he didn't have them to lull him to sleep.

~.~.~.~

Javier was NOT a _jealous_ person. He was more than that. He was better than that petty BS. But as he sat there watching Ryan with Jenny he couldn't stop his heart from clenching painfully and wanting to go over there and strangle the pretty little blond woman.

~.~.~.~

Kevin waited for his partner to give the _signal_. A moment later he nodded as he walked up and thrust his hand out for the woman to take. "Hi. My names Kevin Ryan and I'm your baby brother's partner both on duty and in the home."

~.~.~.~

Lanie snorted as she rolled her eyes. Shaking her head she couldn't believe what she was witnessing. She loved her boys but they seriously needed smacks up their heads if they thought they were _fooling_ people about their relationship like this.

~.~.~.~

Javier had honestly been set to hate his new partner. He'd built up an image of an _obnoxious_ whack job in his head. What he got though, was NOT what he had been expecting.

~.~.~.~

They knew they had an impregnable _bond_ but that was alright with them. All they needed was each other and they knew they'd be fine for life.

~.~.~.~

Rick Castle could honestly count on his right hand the number of times he had truly been _speechless_ in his entire life. The first had been when his mother had told him he'd be remarrying when he was 11 to a man that had only been apart of their lives for a short while. The second being when he'd been accepted into his dream college. The third was the day that Meredith had announced she her pregnancy with Alexis. And now the forth happening only moments ago. Blinking rapidly, Castle shuffled back from the entrance to the barely used stair case before spinning and walking briskly away before either detective noticed him. That was so NOT the way he needed to confirm the relationship between his friends. Couldn't Ryan and Esposito have just told him?

~.~.~.~

Kate blinked in surprise as she backed out of the men's locker room. It was one thing to _joke_ with Castle and Lanie about Esposito and Ryan being together. It was another thing entirely to see Javier pinning Ryan against the lockers and kissing the man like he was his dieing breath.

~.~.~.~

Javier Esposito had never been a great _listener_. His sisters could a test to that. But for some reason he just couldn't stop listening to every word that Kevin Ryan spoke lately. Or stop watching the Irish man's lips move and twist as he talked or smiled. Or the way his eyes lit up and sparkled.

~.~.~.~

He wanted to reach out and touch that pale _skin_ so badly. He wanted to know it if was as soft as it looked. If it tasted nearly as good as it smelled. He just really needed to know and he was going to find out one day. He just needed to build up his courage first

~.~.~.~

Javier glared at Castle, as the writer openly flirted with Kate. He knew it wasn't really fair to take his frustration out on the other man but he couldn't help it. It wasn't fair that they got to be _open_ with their feelings and relationship, while he and Kevin had to hide theirs.

~.~.~.~

Javier Esposito's first thought as he took in his new partner, is that the guy looks _delicate_. Like something he needed to protect and keep safe from the world. Something that he needed to hide away in a tower and protect.

~.~.~.~

Feeling his heart _sink_ , Kevin let out a long slow breath as he tried to keep himself in check. It wouldn't do anyone any good if he broke down. Again. God, he hated waiting for news.

~.~.~.~

It was his secret guilt pleasure to listen to his lover when he spoke in rapid fire _Spanish_. He could honestly listen to the other man speak for hours about anything he wanted to, if he'd only just do it in Spanish.

~.~.~.~

Javier had never felt so _anxious_ in his entire life as he did at this moment. Steeling himself, he took a deep breath before pushing himself away from the sink. He could do this. He could totally do this. He just had to keep repeating that to himself as he opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom. He could totally ask Kevin to be with him until they died. He could totally ask him that in front of their families and friends.

~.~.~.~

Kevin Ryan was not a _timid_ man. Sure he wasn't the bravest or strongest but he was sure of himself. His sister had once told him that it wasn't strength or bravery that made a good man, it was his heart. That was why he was standing in front of dozens of people with a smile filled with sadness. "Kendra once told me what made a man."

~.~.~.~

Javier _groaned_ as he felt tiny hands shaking his shoulder. Opening his eyes, he stared sleepily at a curly haired little girl, with the same caramel coloured skin and but bright blue shining eyes. "Bad dream niña?" He rasped softly as he shifted further into the bed and lifted the blanket. Rushing, the tiny girl climbed up and then curled into his chest. "I miss daddy, papi," she murmured as Javier wrapped his arm around the girl. "I know you do Cassidy, I know. I miss daddy too sweetheart."

~.~.~.~

He could feel the cluttered but orderly _chaos_ of his heart settle at the sight of the Hispanic detective. Smiling brightly he felt the tension of his body relax.

~.~.~.~

 _Sleep_ seemed to be evading him and he was sick of it. Not a wink in four days. Sighing he rolled onto his back to stare at the ceiling. This settled it. His lover was no longer aloud to take trips without him. He needed to sleep and it looked like he wouldn't be able to until the other man was home.

~.~.~.~

It was definitely _endearing_ , Kevin thought as he stared at the table. Looking away from the romantic dinner laid out, Kevin nearly jumped as he finally took in his lover. Javier was holding a small black box and a loving smile.

~.~.~.~

Kevin had honestly never seen shade of _brown_ so breath taking, until he'd looked into the eyes of his new partner, Javier Esposito.

~.~.~.~

Kevin had thought he'd known _love_ when he'd met and fallen for his first serious girlfriend Claire Tell. It hadn't lasted more than a few months but they'd been good while they had lasted. Then it'd been Dawn Short and Mary Tree. While they had lasted far longer then Claire, they too had been nothing more than a farce of the real thing. Kathy Owens had been right around the time he'd met his new partner, Javier Esposito. He'd thought at first that it'd been the beautiful red head that made his heart flutter and settle at the same time. It had all been fine, until it'd all but smacked him in the face one morning that it wasn't a gorgeous woman that made every nerve in his body stand on in. He just hoped that one day Javier would return this love. Until then, he was content to just be the man's partner and best friend.

~.~.~.~

It _smelled_. He shuddered as the stench of death hit his nostrils. Shaking himself after a moment, he forced himself to continue to walk down the hallway towards the last room on the left. Pausing as his hand hovered before he steeled himself as he opened the door. Looking around he nodded to the nurse before settling himself into the chair on the left side of the bed. "Hey baby," he murmured softly as he took into too still figure of his best friend and lover. "Meant to come by sooner but Kate needed a hand. I tell you she made captain last month?" He asked, as a smile ghosted over his face. "Castle's tickled that she'll be behind the scenes now. Alexis and the boys are happy as well."

~.~.~.~

Kevin felt the _fear_ grip him. He felt it down from his very soul as he watched Javier drive off without him. He didn't like not being with his partner. He did not like sitting back while Javi drove off to do God knows what with Thornton.

~.~.~.~

Javier felt the tears build up and slip down his cheeks. He watched as they hit the cooling cheek of his partner. He held his breath as he watched the _light_ leave those shocking baby blues. Letting out a loud sob, he dropped his head to Kevin's chest and cried.

~.~.~.~

If he had only one word to describe Kevin Ryan. It would be _anchor_. The man kept him sane and grounded. He kept him sure of himself.

~.~.~.~

"You are the most _honourable_ man that I know," she murmured softly as she squeezed his hand tightly. "Never let them take that from you Javi. Never let them take that little brother."

~.~.~.~

Kate smiled happily as she _watched_ the scene before her. It warmed her heart to see her boys so happy with each other at last.

~.~.~.~

Kevin sighed softly as Javi tightened his grip on his waist. Here in his partner's arms, he'd never felt _safer_ in his entire life.

~.~.~.~

Javier felt himself being _devoured_ from the slow but intense burn coming from he inside out as he stared into Kevin's eyes. But that was alright with him. He didn't mind it. As long as he got to keep staring into those eyes.

~.~.~.~

His smile was etched with an ever lasting love. His eyes out shun the sky and the clearest oceans. But it was his _kiss_ that could render anyone, into falling in love with him. Javier Esposito a tested to that as he tried to get his breathing under control.

~.~.~.~

Karen and Kerrigan watched at the _charming_ Latino man standing around their baby brother. Turning they watched as their sisters, Kendra and Kara stepped up to them. "You think we should let Kendra lose on him?" Kara grinned as they all turned to watch their youngest sister stare at her twin with open curiosity. "Cause if so, I wanna put 200 down on our little spit fire."

~.~.~.~

It felt _instinctive_ for him as he wrapped his arms around the small Irish woman, who was crying on him. "It'll be alright," he murmured softly into familiar soft brown hair. "Karen, Kev'll be alright. He'll make it. I know he will."

~.~.~.~

He was not _graceful_ person. He was however a major clutz. He could tripped over thin air or find that magical banana peel that seemed to evade everyone else but him. Sighing as he looked up at the sky he inwardly berated himself. It just seemed to get worse the more time he spent around his new partner.

~.~.~.~

He was pretty _amused_ as he watched Kevin Ryan get more and more flustered as he floundered around while he kept trying to talk to Beckett. Snorting he watched as the man nearly rendered himself to tears before Kate simply shook her head and walked away. Smirking to himself he turned back to his work. Messing with the rookie was so much fun.

~.~.~.~

 _Manhattan_ had seriously been a step up in the world, he thought as he stood in his new apartment. He could just feel things start to improve for himself. He couldn't wait for this new adventure to get started.

~.~.~.~

He tried to hold in the _whimper_ but it slipped out before he could stop it. Looking around he hoped no one had heard him. He so did not need Castle asking him why he couldn't seem to sit in his seat. "Everything alright there Esposito?" Turning he tossed his pale lover a glare. He was met with a wide grin and sparkling amusement in response.

~.~.~.~

Ryan swore that Javier _glowed_ as they pulled apart from one another after having shared their first kiss but certainly not their last.

~.~.~.~

Javier had never tried to be more _tender_ in his entire life, than he was right now. He flinched at the sharp intake of breath. "It's alright Javi," Kevin murmured after taking a few quick breaths. "I know you gotta put pressure on it to stop the bleeding."

~.~.~.~

Lanie grinned as she watched Javier and his new partner argue. Shaking her head, she wondered how long it would take them to realize just how well _matched_ they were for one another. Smirking she shook her head. Knowing the Latino it would take at least a year for him to pull his head outta his ass to figure it out.

~.~.~.~

"Can I give you some _advice_ Javier?" The Hispanic man turned to stare at Kevin's twin sister, Kendra. "Uh, sure?" He shrugged as he turned his body fully to stare into similar but yet different blue eyes. "You keep him smiling and happy. You'll live a long life. Trust me." She smiled as she moved to turn away from him. Pausing she looked back with a knowing look in her eyes. "Granted of course you aren't killed while doing your job," she added with a smile before moving away to speak with another member of the Ryan family.

~.~.~.~

Kevin felt so _lost_ without Javier. Staring at the clock he waited for Javi to call. He didn't like this. Didn't like sitting back while his partner was out there with someone else.

~.~.~.~

Lanie had never seen more _devotion_ in her life, with the exception of her grandparents. Sighing happily, she watched as Kevin and Javier danced at their commitment party. She hoped one day she'd find that for herself. Until then she was content to watch over her boys and Kate and Castle. "Would you like to dance?" Lanie turned to see a tall, familiar looking woman standing there with her hand stretched out towards Lanie. "I'm Kendra. Kev's twin," she explained with a blinding grin. "Sure," Lanie shrugged as she took the offered hand.

~.~.~.~

Javi shifted as he stared into Kevin's eyes. He'd never seen such _trust_ directed at him before. And if he was being honest, it scared him slightly. Okay if he was being totally honest, it scared the ever living shit out of him.

~.~.~.~

Javier took a deep breath as he tried to keep his cool. He needed to stay in _control_. He could not lose it here. In front of everyone he worked with.

~.~.~.~

"Oh please," Lanie waved off the mixed Latino standing in front of her and Kate whining. "That man makes up the _essences_ of your soul Javier Esposito. So stop whining and go over their and ask him to marry you. Or so help me boy I'll drag you over there by your ears!" She snapped quietly as she placed her hands on her hips and glared. "Now Javier!"

~.~.~.~

He could feel his _arousal_ build with each heated look. Each graze of finger tips. Every breath that ghosted over his skin.

~.~.~.~

They all watched as he slowly _withdrew_ into himself. Watched as he broke down and became numb. A sliver of a shell of what he once was. They watched because they didn't know how to help him. How to stop him from spiralling into nothing without Javier there to stop him.

~.~.~.~

Javier could see the _radiance_ coming off of his daughter as Kevin twirled her around the dance floor. He watched as his partner smoothly moved her around for a while longer before he let her husband cut in and take over twirling their princess around.

~.~.~.~

He had tried not _hope_. She could say no. Kevin could change his mind. Something or anything could happen. But as they sat down and Kevin asked Lanie, Javier couldn't help not hoping she'd say yes. They held their breaths as they waited for her to answer. "Of course I will boys!" Lanie squealed childishly before hugging them each in turn. "I'd be happy to be a surrogate for you."

~.~.~.~

Javier couldn't believe he'd been so _blind_! He should have known Kevin felt the same about him as he did!

~.~.~.~

He'd never felt as _desired_ as he did at this moment. Javier had away of making him feel like a fluttering virgin.

~.~.~.~

"I just don't understand why your _leaving_ ," she spoke softly as he watched the other man finish packing up his apartment. "Why can't you stay?" She asked softly as she leaned against the door frame. "You know why Kate," he murmured lowly as he turned to look at her fully. "Every where in this city reminds me of him. He wanted me to move on and I can't do that here. I gotta go some where new. Some where Javi's ghost won't haunt me to the point of suffocation. I'll call you guys the minute I get set up. I promise."

~.~.~.~

Most people who knew him, would describe him as _argumentative_. It wasn't really a secret that he'd argue till he was blue in the face.

~.~.~.~

He'd heard people talking about a simple _touch_ from a lover sending waves of love. He'd shrugged it off and called bullshit. That was until Kevin Ryan's fingers barely grazed the back his hand and it sent him reeling with a warmth that spread through out his entire body.

~.~.~.~

He felt Javi's body blanket him in _warmth_ as his lover settled in behind him. "Love you," he heard the Latin man rumble softly before he felt the barest kiss placed on his neck.

~.~.~.~

It honestly mystified Javier just how _innocent_ Kevin could honestly be at times. He'd never known another human being that could retain the childlike view of the world, even though he'd seen some of the darkest moments of humanity.

~.~.~.~

Esposito could not believe he was sitting forth row, six seats in at a freakin' _musical_! How in the world did Kevin talk him into sitting through this crap?

~.~.~.~

"I'll _cherish_ you forever," he rumbled softly. "If you just say yes to being with me forever."

~.~.~.~

He felt so _fragile_ and he hated it. Hated himself as he resisted the urge to fall to his knees and just let the tears fall freely.

~.~.~.~

His body felt like it had been inflamed by it. He could feel the _rage_ boiling beneath the surface and for the first time in years, he was honestly afraid of what he just might do.

~.~.~.~

Growing up, he'd always had _faith_ in his family, in God and in justice. They had been the three things that had made living worth it. Javier had also been added to the list, even though he'd only known the man for mere weeks.

~.~.~.~

Kevin blinked in surprise before letting his face contort into worry. Biting his lip, he wrapped his arm slightly around his lover. As he held the other man, he wondered what was causing Javi's body to be wracked with _tremors_.

~.~.~.~

He would _occasional_ , not that he'd ever admit to it, even under the threat of pain of death. He would sometimes pretend that his partner was really with him, instead of being with **her**.

~.~.~.~

Kate groaned as she listened to Castle _chatter_ on and on about his mother's newest boyfriend. Ryan and Esposito needed to hurry he hell up and get back already.

~.~.~.~

Jenny could hear just how _sincere_ Kevin was as he explained what he was feeling. "It's alright," she whispered softly. "Just tell him you feel Kevin. Before it's to late and you lose your chance."

~.~.~.~

His grandmother had always told him you could tell a lot about a person by just shaking their _hand_. She use to tell him you could tell their strength and weakness just by the grip. You could feel their love by the way they curled their fingers. He hadn't really believed her until he'd shaken hands with Javier.

~.~.~.~

Kevin let out a breathy _moan_ as he felt Javi grind their hips together.

~.~.~.~

Kevin grinned as he stared down at Javier. As he shifted slightly both man let out faint moans. Pausing for a split second, Kevin forgot all about it being his turned to pick the _movie_ , and leaned down to capture his lover's lips with his own in a heated kiss.

~.~.~.~

Sure, he'd known _heartache_ before. Really though, who hasn't? Sighing, he shook his head as he turned away from the happy couple. He just wished it would go away.

~.~.~.~

Kevin was honestly _terrified_ as he waited for his sisters to say something. "So?" Karen asked with a snort. "Your our brother Kev. We love you no matter what. That includes you being in love with another man."

~.~.~.~

Javier smiled warmly as he watched and felt Kevin _curl_ around his body tightly. He loved it when Kevin slept like this. It wasn't often that the Irish man felt the need to be wound around him like a snake.

~.~.~.~

He smiled brightly as he watched his lover sing along to the sappy country love _song_. It wasn't everyday that he could watch his Latino lover do something this dorky.

~.~.~.~

He felt like a _foreigner_ as he looked around the ball room filled with pale skinned men and women. Looking around he swallowed nervously as he waited to find someone he knew.

~.~.~.~

He'd always been an _optimistic_ person. Most everyone in his family was too. But as they sat waiting for news on his partner's test results, he couldn't help but conjure up all of the absolute worst images in his head.

~.~.~.~

Javier didn't think about the _repercussions_ as he stood up. He didn't think about what everyone would say as he headed to the break room. He didn't think about what his parents or brother would think as he stepped into the room and paused. It didn't cross his mind that the Captain might have o break up their partnership as he reached Ryan. He never paused to wonder if Kevin even felt the same as he did as he gripped his best friend's face. He never thought of any of hat as he captured Kevin's lips with his own. He just knew that h wanted to feel Kevin's lips on his on at least once in his before he died.

~.~.~.~

He wanted to stay in this _blissful_ unawareness forever. Unfortunately his damn phone and the outside world just didn't seem to want to let him.

~.~.~.~

He'd never told anyone before but he had a huge fear of _intimacy_. He'd seen to many relationships break down and crumble. And it'd made him fear taking that step with him.

~.~.~.~

Narrowing her _gaze_ , Lanie tried to control her raging temper. "I don't give a shit what the problem is Kevin Ryan! But you are gonna get that sweet ass of yours back in your car and go fix what ever it is that happened and you will go fix it now!"

~.~.~.~

He was a _private_ man and he was pretty sure he always would be. But part of him, alright a huge part of himself wanted to stop being private and share his soul with his partner. ~.~.~.~ He could feel himself flounder around for the right thing to say but nothing seemed to come to mind.

~.~.~.~

Javier gave his best _menacing_ glare as he felt his partner slide up next to him and do the same. "And you treat her with nothing but the absolutely most deserving respect that she should have," he growled out. "Alexis is very dear to us," Kevin added on. "And we have guns." They finished up together after a moment. "We aren't afraid to us them."

~.~.~.~

"Alright," he whispered hoarsely. "It's a _struggle_ everyday," he continued as he averted his gaze from those of his friends. "It's not getting any easier," he added after a few moments. "Most days I don't know how to function." Pausing he swallowed the lump forming in his throat. "I just wanna wake up and have him back in my arms."

~.~.~.~

The second word that came to Javier Esposito when describing his partner and best friend was _eccentric_.

~.~.~.~

He'd always been a _nocturnal_ creature. It'd driven his family insane but he just hadn't been able to help himself. The stars and shades of the sky had just always fascinated him.

~.~.~.~

She watched as his _demeanour_ changed. Kate could see the exact second that Esposito had gone from just standing on the sidelines to moving into the game. Shaking her head, she felt her lips curve up into a smile. That moron seriously didn't realize one just didn't say crap like that about or to Ryan. Snorting she leaned back against the wall and watched.

~.~.~.~

Javier swallowed nervously as he was stared down by narrowed dark blue eyes. He was man enough to admit that he was seriously _intimidated_ at the moment. He didn't realize hat Kevin's sisters would scare him so much!

~.~.~.~

Javier was pretty sure that at one point or another that staring into Kevin's eyes had felt like staring into the _abyss_ of nothing and everything all at once.

~.~.~.~

Kevin felt his heart give a flutter as he traced Javier's _smile_ with his eyes, wishing he could trace it with his finger tips.

~.~.~.~

Javier had never felt so _exposed_ as he did at this moment, as he knelt in front of Kevin and waited for the man's answer.

~.~.~.~

Javier felt himself breakout into a bright wide grin as soon as his gaze locked onto those baby _blues_ he loved so much.

~.~.~.~

Javier Esposito didn't know when Kevin Ryan became so _vital_ to him. He only knew that he needed to keep the other man with him.

~.~.~.~

He sighed as he realized they had fallen into a _pattern_. Frowning he tried to think of ways to get out of the funk they had put themselves in.

~.~.~.~

Javier took a deep breath before closing his eyes and chanting in his mind that he was not going to shove Ryan into the nearest surface and ravage his mouth to show him what just had him _agitated_ lately.

~.~.~.~

It wasn't shocking when they fought. They did it on an almost regular basis. But that was just part of who they were. But they both knew that this _fight_ wasn't like the rest. This was real and they were both pretty sure it would change their relationship.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. I hope you guys liked reading them as much as I liked writing them. You don't have to but it'd be nice to get some reviews.
> 
> ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
> 
> Here are the Spanish translations for you.
> 
> niña ~ baby girl, Spanish.


End file.
